Title: Nightlight: A Parody
Author: The Harvard Lampoon
Release Date: November 3rd 2009
About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.
And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.
I don’t actually know why I picked up this book. I guess I was just curious about what a Twilight parody would be like. I haven’t read the Twilight series so I was really in the dark with this book. One thing I learned about parodies is that you have to read the original book first before reading the parody in order to understand the story. I was just really curious about how the book would be like.
In terms of the humor, well it was pretty humorous. It was funny and dumb at the same time, I mean the good kind of dumb. The scenes in the book rarely make sense but that’s the whole point of a parody right?
Only a few minutes ago, he wanted to kill me, which I guess was fair, because I wanted to gouge him in the armpit. Still, some of his sharp teeth were popping out of his puckered lips, and I was wary. What if my acting was bad?
I remember the very first time I saw this book was in a bookstore and I instantly got curious about it. I especially like the names of the main characters—Edwart Mullen and Belle Goose. I think it’s a clever play at the names of the main characters in the Twilight series. All the characters are pretty eccentric too which made me wonder, “Are they for real!?”
He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room—maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman’s idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man.
“What is that?” I asked, knowing that whatever it was it wasn’t avian.
“That’s Edwart Mullen,” Lululu said.
Since I have not read the Twilight series, there are certain things in this book that I didn’t understand that well, there are things in the book that I think would be pretty funny if only I had read the book this parody has based on. It’s like you’re the only one in the room who didn’t get the joke. And I also had no point of reference on how much the parody deviated from the original Twilight series.
When I re-read some lines from the book I can’t help myself from smiling at how ridiculous, dumb and utterly senseless the book is—in a good way.
We walked together, our pointer fingers romantically linked. The cemetery loomed ahead of us covered in a dark haze of night, lit only by a sliver of moon. Twilight! I mean, Nightlight!
All in all it was so-so. Not mind-blowingly amazing but not bad either. Reading the book was a nice break from the other emotionally intense and heart rendering book in my shelf. Sometimes it’s nice to curl up with a funny book and laugh at the dumb things in life.